Reviews of Lavalife

I have to say I am disapointed with lavalife and myself that I have enetered this site. After the divorce, I felt this would be the best way to find a partner. I did but I found a partner with troubles. I am very attractive, educated with a good job and financially secured. He is a nice man but with huge problems so these days I am feeding him because he has no money left to buy food. I feel bad leaving him and also I got used to his company. Is it better that being alone, I am not sure. His profile was not true, education and salary greatly exagerated and before I have realized it - it was too late. We are together for 1.5 years but I am asking myself what am i doing with this man beside helping him financially. My advise to women - stay away from this site.

Oh Tim......I do so agree and do so like hearing the addiction scenario you presented from a man's point of view! I see the same faces constantly online and doing my research of which one to join I saw that many men are one 3,4,5, or even more sites at one time! I was "victim" to one of those addicts...we dated for almost a year and he just could not stay off the sites. It drove us apart or maybe it just pointed out him inability to have a real relationship. As for Lava....i tried it briefly and the numbers were not there, the quality was not there.

Toronto.com, one of TOs most frequented tourist sites, posted an ad on lavalife (Canada's most popular dating site)that reads as follows:

"COUGARS SPOTTED IN THE CLUB DISTRICT. DO NOT LEAVE YOUR MARTINIS UNATTENDED"

This message is accompanied by a drawing of a woman in a revealing short dress, in a provocative pose, with a Martini glass in her hand.

Beyond the label “COUGAR”, what’s wrong with this ad? What if this ad depicted a picture of a middle aged MAN with a beer in one hand, a little pill in the other, his shirt pulled out and a loosened tie? What if it said the following:

"HYENAS SPOTTED IN THE CLUB DISTRICT. DO NOT LEAVE YOUR DRINKS UNATTENDED".(Let’s just “pretend” that HYENAS are men who chase after younger women!!! Shall we dare?)

By the way....what "is" the official label for men who chase younger women? (now and in the past hundreds of years)

Create Awareness!!! Even if they are married, single, young, not so young, and whether they are or aren’t with younger men, every woman (regardless of her age) has the right to make choices without ridicule, prejudice, judgment or labels. And no one has the right to depict and stereotype women as desperate and dangerous sexual predators.

Either BOTH genders deserve a Label….. Or NEITHER does!

Lavalife as far as I'm concerned is for the not so serious dating crowd who maybe likes the idea of finding Ms or Mr Right, but keeps a nice safe distance through email conversation or by sending useless smiles. I joined Lavalife after seperating from my husband of 10 years. It was an interesting experience, but I think if you're serious about meeting the right person, you'll have to pay and join a professional service. Otherwise you're merely screwing the pooch with Lava!

MUCH LIKE A POKER GAME YOU SAY?

I agree that Lavalife has the potential to work. And it can. Their set up is fine. They control as much as they can and leave the rest of the behaviour up to the members. But I totally agree that online dating is addictive. There are women and men logging on to Lavalife all day. For what? It's easy to tell because Lavalife has a system that shows people who logged on last as "top of the list" in their picture gallery. The same people are there at the top, everytime, everyday, for years. Do they have a life? All you have to do is log on once a month and you'll see the same men and women at the top, no exceptions!

This is a great topic for research. I think that people addicted to online dating are not really interested in finding a relationship. They most likely display common symptoms of addiction. i.e. frequent and prolongued use, a feeling of satisfaction and comfort when logged on to the site, a secret contempt for the place ("I hate this place"), inability to stop ("maybe next time I'll log on and find/try....blah, blah, blah"), symptoms of withdrawal when not there ("gotta check Lavalife!!!!"), excuses as to why they are on the site for years ("I haven't found the Right One"), excuses to return to the service even if they find the right one ("She coughed too loud on the phone". Next!), and denial (I'm only here until the Right One shows up).

So heads up! The first question to ask if you use the service is....."How long have you been here, and have you had any relationships with anyone you have met here?. If the answers are..."over 3 years and NO", than this is your clue to well....RUN! If he hasn't stopped logging on after anyone he met during all those years on the site.....I'd say he's hooked on a "CONCEPT" -- the hit, the smiles, the 2D pics, the possibilities, the rejections, the chase, the non accountability, the game and the strategies (that keep changing with experience), the wins and the losses. Much like a poker game you say? Eventually, this becomes more important than a REAL relationship with a REAL person. Sad but true!

I'll be waiting for the attacks on this review. Addiction doesn't like criticism.

I think that Lavalife just provides a service. It's business! -- just like the business of packaging tobacco. The similarities between the two, are that they are addictive.

All these people are writing here saying there lots of "regulars" (as someone said) who have been on Lavalife for 7 years. 7 years? 5 years? Regulars? -- as in regular smokers, regular drinkers at the bar, hmmm!

Well, years ago the possibility of meeting people on Lavalife might have been an experiment. By now, if all these "regulars" have had no success in finding a relationship, and if they are still there, let's face it, they must be addicted.

Lavalife has succeeded. They have their customers "hooked". The site gets 3 stars in my book. Lavalife provides a medium -- what you do on the site, how much you lie, how much you believe, who you choose to contact, and the many years you decide to stay on it, are all entirely up to YOU! Society just needs to begin to recognize online dating for what it is (or has become), and people need to get out there and find a way to meet others in the real world.

Since when has the mating game become so addictive that no one we meet is good enough anymore? NEXT!

also think am fun loving, easy going,honest,nice,gentle,kind,smart,sociala ble,friendly,also intelligent and trustworthy,passion,wonderful lady,very open mind,well educated with a good sense of humour.I am a serious person,responsible

I turned to online dating because I don't drive and I need more time to see those movies that I want to see and write my fan fiction.

It's not fair if the dating sites are playing games. I am getting help through friends, family and co workers with finding a girlfriend.

On dating sites now there are features to report those who could be fake.

I trusted true.com for 3 years and I am hearing the truth about them and I hope that true.com is reported to the Texas Rangers just as they were reported to the Texas Attorney General and Better Business Beareau. I one time had a girlfriend that I met on the MTV site. We didn't last long and than I went to many other dating sites.

It's ridicoulous to have to pay just to have an Internet date. It does sound like prostitution.

The better pay sites to use are yahoo personals or match.com.

I hope that the feds remove all those dating services that lie about being free when they charge. I have even tried the free site plentyoffish.com or www.webdate.com and not much responses.

I get a lack of responses on the sites to the girls who I e-mail and that's not fair to me because I take a bus home from work on most days and sometimes it can take too long for me to get home.

I agree with Fridget. Onlone dating has totally bombed during the past half dozen years or so. Eight years ago, not everybody had a computer and you were dealing with a higher class of people. Now it's aimed at the lowest common denominator and DEPENDS ON RADIO ADS to get new members. If online was the way to go, they wouldn't have to advertise on radio. If you can have success online, then you will probably have more success using other venues. Those who say they are too busy in their careers to meet people and therefore need online dating, I have some advice: GET A LIFE!!!!!!!!!

I've been on Lava for probably 3 years. Here are some of my observations:

1. There are MANY profiles of women that are "too good to be true." The photos are model-beautiful, and women like that would not need to be on an on-line site for any of the categorical reasons. Furthermore, a VERY high proportion of these are "new" profiles of women who sign up and then never again visit the site. Accordingly, I largely concur with the other male reviewers who believe that these are fake profiles.

2. Lava is rampant with profiles from Russians, Nigerians, and prostitutes (or at least fakes who "smile," get a response, and reply with a referral to their private e-mail or an XXX website). To Lava's credit, these phonies are immediately deleted. Most times, Lava has restored the credits that I've expended (if I ask, and if I haven't deleted the mail that I sent or received).

3. Far too many of the women's profiles are allowed to be posted "incomplete." This means no essay, no answer to questions about (especially) kids and education, and no selection of interests.

4. Men can automatically -- and I mean this -- add one "body size" to whatever the women claim they are. For example, "few extra pounds" means "queen or king-sized."

5. The women (and maybe the men, too) can get away without updating their essay for several years. I've seen several regulars who haven't updated (or even WRITTEN) an essay for 4 years, and one is approaching (get this) SEVEN years.

6. I once let my credits run down to 2, and I left them at that level for a long time because there was nobody palatable to write to. Lava kept producing pop-up appeals to "buy credits" ad nauseam.

In general, I agree that on-line dating was better in past years. My fortunes on Lava were promising early, but I hadn't had a date from there since a month after I joined. The other services are worse. Yes, they are all populated with creepy or married guys, but those of us who are sincere and single spend weeks or months lurking and studying profiles, hoping to identify someone remotely compatible, while many women can log on and exclaim, "Oh, look -- 200 e-mails!"

This is why I finally "abandoned all hope" and looked to the Latin American dating sites (TLC, and ecuadorsingles.com). Both are legitimate; the Latinas are looking for good husbands just as we are looking for good wives, and in less than 6 months I found a beautiful Ecuadorian sweetheart who will become my wife. If you look overseas, avoid the Philippines and Russia (stick to Latin America), and be prepared to submit the IMBRA verification (no felonies, domestic violence, etc.). I should have turned to the Latina route long ago, and maybe other men here should, too, if you're tired of beating your head against the impenetrable wall of U.S. on-line "dating."